Grace / Jesus and bad religion
When You're Done with Church
Maybe you still believe in Jesus. You just don't want another round of what happened at church.
Some folks quit going to church because it was boring. They sat through it for years and never figured out what any of it had to do with the rest of their lives. Eventually they found something else to do on Sunday.
Others had a much worse time. Somebody used their position to push people around. A conflict got ugly, and the people who could've done something about it wouldn't. There were rules nobody could explain, expectations nobody could meet, and plenty of people ready to tell you how you were falling short.
Maybe you kept trying long after you wanted to quit. Then one Sunday you stayed home, and it was the first Sunday in a long time you could breathe.
You might still believe in Jesus. You might even miss some of the people. But when somebody says you ought to come to their church, your first thought is that you've already tried this.
I have a special heart for people in that spot. When I preached through Colossians, I called the series Jesus is the antidote to bad religion, and these were the people I had in mind.
There's a reason another invitation doesn't sound good
In the first sermon, I compared a bad church experience to food poisoning. If you're not sure whether you've ever had food poisoning, you haven't. Your body hits a big red button marked EJECT. The last thing you want right then is somebody showing up at your house with a big bowl of chili, or a pizza with extra garlic and anchovies. They can tell you all about how good it is. You still don't want it.
That's what a lot of church invitations sound like to somebody who's been badly churched. The person making the invitation may be sincere. Their church may be a wonderful place. But when you've had the bad thing, you don't trust somebody who says they're bringing you the good thing.
People who want to help ought to understand that. If somebody wants you to trust them, they can give you time and some reason to do it. Getting mad at you for being reluctant sure isn't going to help.
And if church was simply a long, dull obligation, you don't need somebody to convince you that you secretly enjoyed it. You need to understand why life with Jesus is worth your attention in the first place.
Colossians begins by building people up
The Christians in Colossae were being pushed around by religious bullies who thought they had something better to offer. Nobody knows now exactly what those people were teaching, and it doesn't matter much. Whatever the poison was, the antidote is the same. The message was that the Christians didn't have enough and needed what the bullies had to be really spiritual.
Paul wrote to people under that pressure, and he wrote from jail. Right at the beginning, he addressed them as God's people and as brothers and sisters in Christ. He thanked God for their faith and love. He told them the Father had qualified them to share in the inheritance of His people ().
They were being told they didn't measure up, and Paul began by telling them what God had already given them.
When a bully's been whipping you, one of the easiest things to do is start thinking you deserve it. Maybe he beats me up because I really am weak. Maybe that's all I'm ever going to be. After enough of that, you might even expect God to talk to you the same way.
Paul knew they couldn't hear about the antidote while they still thought they deserved the beating. So before he says anything about the pressure they're under, he tells them where they stand with God. In Christ, they're forgiven, they belong, and they have a Savior who's fully able to take care of them.
Did they represent Jesus well?
If somebody treated you badly in God's name, you're allowed to ask whether what they did was anything like Him.
Colossians gives us plenty to work with. Paul tells Christians to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, and patient, and to stop lying to each other ().
Those are real instructions. They apply to the people who taught you the Bible too.
If a church was cruel, dishonest, or determined to keep certain people above criticism, its conduct can be judged by what Jesus asks of His people. A religious title doesn't settle the matter. We can open the book and look.
Something isn't good just because it happened in church. And you don't have to settle every religious question before you can say somebody treated you wrong.
The question you actually have
Maybe you're wondering whether God sees you the way those people did. Read what Colossians says about Jesus making peace through His cross and bringing people near to God. That's the work He chose to do for you.
Maybe you're worn out from trying to satisfy religious people. Read where Paul says not to let anybody judge or disqualify you over their religious requirements. He takes that pressure seriously enough to tell Christians to resist it.
Maybe you miss having people to pray with, laugh with, and count on. Read the part about compassion, patience, forgiveness, and gratitude. That's a description of how people who belong to Jesus ought to live together. It's reasonable to want that.
None of that requires enthusiasm you don't feel. One passage and one honest question will do for now.
I do think life with Jesus is meant to include other people. Sunday mornings with my church are a wonderful time. It's everything in the world to me because God's there, and it's also a lot of fun. I want you to have that.
Getting there can begin with a much smaller step than sorting out your whole church situation. Take another look at Jesus, and ask whether the people who wore you out told you the truth about Him.
— tobe