Grace / That You May Know
When You Fail Jesus
Peter denied knowing Jesus three times. The risen Jesus still had a place for him.
Peter was sure he'd stand by Jesus. Even if everybody else fell apart, he wouldn't. He was ready to die with Him.
Then a servant girl recognized him in the courtyard, and Peter said he didn't know what she was talking about. Big, burly Peter crumbled under the withering gaze of a servant girl, probably about fifteen. You know the type. She's the one who asked the teacher, "Weren't we supposed to have a pop quiz today?" Then another one showed up. It was like a zombie apocalypse of slave girls. Finally he was calling down curses and swearing he didn't know the man. ()
This wasn't a small misunderstanding. Peter had been with Jesus for years. He'd heard Him teach, seen Him heal, and confessed that He was the Christ. Now, with Jesus on trial, Peter was denying any connection with Him.
When the rooster crowed, Peter remembered what Jesus had said. He went out and wept bitterly.
I'd like Peter to shake it off right then and say, "I was wrong. He's my best friend. He's my Lord. And yeah, I'm with Him, like it or lump it." That's what I want my hero to do. Instead, he ugly-cries. That's what bitterly means. The man doesn't even give us an impressive recovery from his failure.
Judas tried to put things right
Matthew then tells us about Judas. When he saw Jesus had been condemned, he regretted what he'd done and took the money back. He told the chief priests and elders he'd sinned by betraying innocent blood. ()
He was right about that. Jesus was innocent, and these men were about to have Him killed. Peter couldn't look a teenage servant girl in the eye and tell the truth. Judas marched back to the men who'd just sent Jesus to His death and said it to their faces. He tried to give back what they'd paid him.
They didn't care. They told him it was his problem.
There's something awful about that moment. Judas has realized what he's done, and the people who helped him do it have no use for him anymore. Throwing the money into the temple can't undo the betrayal. Jesus is still being taken to His death.
Judas went away and took his own life.
When I read that, I want to shout at him, "Judas, would you just hold on? Give it forty-eight hours. What you did can be undone. Your sin can be cleansed. Your shame can be taken away." It may be Friday, but Sunday's coming. Judas couldn't pay for his own sin, so he didn't think anybody else could either.
Jesus could do what Peter couldn't
Peter couldn't undo his denials either. Matthew puts these two men right beside each other, the hero and the villain. The difference between them isn't that one failed and the other didn't. Both of them betrayed Jesus. Both of them utterly blew it. Both of them felt terrible, and Judas even tried to make restitution.
But Peter held on long enough to give God a chance to come through for him. He lived to see the resurrection, and he found out that God could fix a situation that looked beyond fixing. The gap between the hero and the villain is a sliver of grace.
In John 21, the risen Jesus speaks directly to Peter. He asks whether Peter loves Him and tells him to care for His sheep. Peter still has a place with Jesus and work to do. The man who denied Him can feed His people. ()
Jesus knew exactly what Peter had done. His welcome didn't depend on Peter finding a way to make the past disappear. Jesus had died and risen again, and He was able to give Peter a future.
That's good news when it's your fault, when you look down at all the pieces of Humpty Dumpty and realize you're the one who broke him. Maybe you made the promise and broke it. Maybe you hurt somebody who trusted you. Maybe you're embarrassed even to ask for forgiveness because you've asked for it before.
You can come to Jesus with the truth about that. He already knows it. You can't make it right. You can't cleanse your own sin or take away your own shame. But He can.
There's help for the next failure too
John tells Christians he's writing so they won't sin. Then he says that if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. ()
Both statements belong there. Sin does harm. We ought to stop doing it. And when we've done it, Jesus is still the one who helps us. God has made provision for people who need forgiveness after they become Christians.
I've said it this way: if I'm walking to Pittsburgh and I trip, I'm still headed to Pittsburgh. A Christian who sins hasn't turned around. He tripped on the road to life.
So admit the sin and ask for His help. Go to the person you've wronged, tell the truth, and do what you can to repair the harm. If you keep falling into the same thing, get somebody to help you deal with it.
There may be consequences we can't undo. Trust may take time to rebuild. We can face those things with Jesus's help. We don't have to decide that our failure has made Him unable or unwilling to save us.
Peter's still my hero. He screwed up, and he had plenty to be ashamed of. But he wouldn't stay down. I'm praying you won't either, whether the devil kicked you or you tripped over your own feet. Get up by the grace of God and believe one more time that He'll come through for you, because He will.
— tobe