Talking to God

In the movies, there's always a moment when the fellow with the lower rank needs to tell his superior something. He knows what needs to be said, but he also knows who's in charge.

"Permission to speak freely, sir."

He wants to say what's on his mind without pretending they're the same rank. He needs permission to talk plainly.

That's a useful way to understand the confidence John says we have with God. Of course He's God, and of course we're not. But through Jesus, we've been welcomed into a relationship in which we can speak freely to Him.

John writes so believers can know they have eternal life. Then he says we have confidence toward God: if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. The assurance and the praying go together. (1 John 5:13-15)

You can say what you mean

If you're new to praying, you may wonder what kind of words you're supposed to use. You might have heard somebody pray for five minutes and thought you could never sound like that.

The words you already know will do. Tell God what happened today. Thank Him for something you enjoyed. Ask for help with a person you don't know how to deal with, a decision you need to make, or a failure you're ashamed of.

Tell Him you don't understand what He's doing, or that you're scared or angry. He already knows what's going on in you. A prayer can be an honest conversation about it. You don't have to become impressive enough to be let in. You're coming to your Father.

Trust Him with the answer

John says God hears requests made according to His will. We ask because we trust His goodness and want His help. Sometimes what we ask for isn't what He gives us.

A parent can love a child and refuse something the child wants. The refusal may be the very thing that protects him. We understand that when we're the parent. It's harder when we're the one asking.

We don't always know why a particular prayer hasn't been answered the way we wanted. We can say that honestly. Knowing we belong to God gives us a reason to keep talking to Him while we don't understand.

Keep asking. He's told us not to give up. Ask Him to help you see what you're missing, or tell Him you need strength to deal with something you didn't choose. Our trust is in the Father who cares about us and knows more than we do.

You don't have to figure out how to make Him listen

When we aren't confident that God wants us, prayer can get strange. We start looking for the extra thing that might get His attention. Maybe we weren't earnest enough. Maybe we need a longer prayer. Maybe if we do something harder, He'll finally respond.

I've been there. I've asked God for things and cried until I was blue in the face, and thought maybe I'd better do something more, like the prophets of Baal cutting themselves so their god would answer with fire. That's not what a confident person does. That's what an idolater does.

But John is describing a relationship in which we already know He hears us. We can ask because He loves us. We can trust Him because He's good. An answer we didn't want doesn't mean we failed to hold our mouth the right way when we prayed.

Put the whole thing before Him and leave the answer with Him. What comes of it is His business. You can still be disappointed, still have questions, and still talk to Him again. That's part of trusting somebody whose goodness you know even when you don't understand His decision.

Pray about ordinary life

John goes on to describe a believer seeing his brother sin and asking God to give him life. He talks about prayer as an ordinary response to something that happens among God's people. A brother needs help, so we ask God for it. (1 John 5:16)

When I preached that verse, I said it's like running out of milk. Oh, we're out of milk. I guess I'll go to the store. It's not the end of the world, and it's not a global crisis. Something comes up, and you ask God.

We can do that throughout the day. Somebody is struggling. Ask God to help him. You need wisdom before a difficult conversation. Ask. Something good happened. Thank Him.

You can have a regular time to pray too. A routine can help you remember people and give your attention to God. It serves the relationship. If your day goes sideways, you can talk to Him in the middle of that day.

That's just how I live my life. I talk to God. I know He's listening to me. I know He cares. And I know that over the long haul He's doing what He knows is best.

— tobe